Im enough...

Just watched this very interesting video on human connection, that also talked about vulnerability. It was interesting because the view this lady (Brene Brown) presented was so contrary to how you or I see our own vulnerabilities. At least for me, I can say, I've always added a very negative or a not so positive note to the frame of mind where I feel vulnerable. There's fear. And then there's this effort to quickly get out of that mode so no one sees it in you. Quick enough so its not exploited.
And thats what she starts this topic with. We numb our vulnerabilities. We try to cover them up as if they just don't exist. But then....you actually end up losing out on other things as well. You lose the joy. You lose an opportunity. You don't want to be the first one to say I love you, and you never do. And you miss out on what could have been the most beautiful part of life. And that's just because, well, the outcome was uncertain. And in a way you tried to make it certain, certain that things will go the wrong way. Well....

I came across these lines, which I think could really synthesise this further
"To be whole, let yourself break
To be straight, let yourself bend
To be full, let yourself be empty
To be new, let yourself wear out
To have everything, give everything up"

You're not perfect, and its OK. You're enough! :)

Generation gap? :s

Its amazing to see how kids can behave sometimes. Especially in this tech-driven world... Hand them a laptop or a blackberry and whoa, there goes all the attention that ever really received from them. No meals on time, no chores either; you talk to them and man you don't even get a response! (even if you do, well you wish you were really the device they've been talking to all this while! ;))

There have been fights, real bad ones - who gets the laptop, for what times in the day, duration to be determined and defined (on paper), etc. Well these certainly ARE critical decisions! Amidst all this, there is this one person who manages to stay away. How....one may wonder. Well......thats because....he's got his own, individual, non- shareable Blackberry!!! And so he has the sole rights to play the superrrrr duperrr 'Brick Breaker'!!!! No third eyes there....... at least not for now :DDD

Well before you even start thinking (if you already haven't been) on why I'm ranting on like one complaining middle-aged, haggard, mother-of-many-brats woman.....lets just spell it out straight. The primary subjects involved in this phenomenon are non other than.......... our PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes yes.....they've caught on to this Tech Wave finally .....but they've caught it bad! While one's been falling deep in love with his Blackberry (not so much for the functionalities though), the other's been caught by, well the ever so popular...Facebook! Again, do NOT mistake that for the very prevalent 'social networking' wave that we're all a part of. Some noble soul, somewhere, thought of introducing the very very harmless Scrabble, online. And that is where it all started.....well still going strong!

The current status therefore is: My sister and I are really the old n wise, mature, thinking people around, trying hard to get these 'little ones' off the addiction. There are times too, when our role really changes to being the IT engineers (at your service 24X7 Sir/ Madam), who are to know the reasons, problems and the solutions every time our dear MTNL internet connection decides to take a break (much needed I'd say)! So here are a few snippets, just so you know what we're talking about:

• "Mamma, (while still trying to catch up on our sleep) ...its 3AM! Please so jao. Suba jaldi uthna hai"
• "Zaada kheloge to aankhein kharab ho jaengi"
• "Khana banayein?"
• At 2AM one day, when Mum surprising decided to sleep early... " Papa, brick breaker ka volume kam kar do, mamma so re hain." One minute later....... He's sitting in the same position, playing the same game, with the same volume on, but only in the room at the other end of the house!!!!!

We're a little lost here now. Parenting your parents was not really a lesson we were prepared to take up....! Not a very pleasant experience I say......!

What to do? : /

I really really want to...

1. Go to ladakh
2. Buy myself a Harley...or at least get someone to give me coupla rides enough for a lifetime :)))
3. Go backpacking ... Bas main or meri tanhai
4. Go to new York ...! Live there for a while
5. Laugh...sing...drink and dance with people I love...without having an iota of any bludy worries in the world
6. Dance .
7. Sit by a river... Just watch it flow
8. Click some pretty pictures. Capture every single memory...all of it
9. Cry...and then laugh it all off
10. Write
11. Tell people how much I love them
12. Ride a Bullet ( if I don't get the Harley I.e)
13. Travel... To places far n wide
14. Watch the snow fall
15. Scream n shout it all out
16. Get a hug :D
.......... WIP.....

people vs relationships...

Last night, I had a very interesting conversation with an even more interesting person. Topic of discussion – ‘Managing people vs relationships!’

So generally, when we think of people in our lives, we also take into consideration the relationship we share with them – cousins/ friends/ parents etc. The two aren’t really mutually exclusive – or that’s how we see it.

But this person, who by the way is one of my dearest and closest friends, has a different theory. I am not too certain if I agree with it completely, but I intend to give it a thought – who knows it might just make life a lot simpler!

So here is what he says – Don’t always look at people or think of them with respect to the relationship you have with them. Look at them minus the “R” factor – as individuals who form an integral part of your system. Whenever a relationship is in troubled waters or in doldrums, you end up thinking – will I lose this friend/ person? Will he still be there for me after all that’s happened?

While this might apply to most people around, there is still that bunch of guys who will stay – these are the ones who will not leave you just because some things did not work out between the two of you or you had a squabble or a disagreement or a really rough patch. These are the ones who really are a part of you and your life. This is where you need to have FAITH - in that PERSON more than the relationship. Believe that, no matter what, these are the people who will always be by your side. They will be your confidence and your support.

So see beyond just the tie that links you both. See what that person really brings to your life.

I know this sounds too theoretical, but somewhere down the line, I see where it’s coming from. And I will work towards following it. And I know it will be worth the effort. For, it comes from one such person who is undoubtedly a beautiful part of my life.

So I've been thinking.....

....of writing a blog for sometime now. Feels like there are just too many thoughts. They linger on in your head ....stay on for a few days/ weeks etc....and then just disappear. And then there are new ones. And yet, the same thing happens. What a waste!!!

But when you think of it....these thoughts never really had a structure to them....which is proably why I couldn't pen them down. I haven't really been the best with my writing abilities....since ....well, the beginning :D

And so I've been thinking...about life. Not just mine for that matter, but in general. Just like that...for no particular reason I think.

So a wierd thought cross my mind. I got the idea of my life (or for that matter, anyone else's too) having some real resemblance to a corporate organization or a business entity. Its been created undr a charter, with a set of basic guidelines governing all actions - more like groundrules. And then there are stakeholders - family, friends, neighbors (well, not so much), more family, office people, etc etc etc. Seems like a long long list!

Just like you'd expect a corporate to act, you too live by those guidelines (read: ways of the world), keeping in mind the concerns and requirements of the stakeholders, and ofcourse - you have got to reward them for their contributions!

But does the organization function only for them or for their interests? So coming back to the original point, what about YOU? Do you continue to operate like this for all times? Don't you fee theres something amiss here? Why do I feel there's a big gap? And why do I feel life is so much more complicated than it really should be?

Maybe its the Monday morning blues getting to me.... or maybe...its a lot more than that.

Maybe.....its time to take a break.......for myself! :D